


Wedding Fit for a Princess

by campylobacter



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Bad Fic, Crack, Deliberate Badfic, F/M, Fanart, Fluff, Humor, Illustrated, Parody, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-04-16
Updated: 2003-04-16
Packaged: 2017-10-09 14:14:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/88335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/campylobacter/pseuds/campylobacter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Scully and Mulder gets married.  [Nominee of the 2003 Spooky Award for Oustanding Humor.]</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wedding Fit for a Princess

**Author's Note:**

> I'm breaking the law here. Someone arrest me.

[](http://campylobacter.memebot.com/fic/wedding.html)The sun sparkling through the sky and beautiful birdsong ran through the trees. It was a perfect day. Roses and flowers were everywhere. In the distant you could hear bells wringing there hearts out, proclaiming joy and love, cause too very special people were to be made into one.

"Oh Dana Katherine," Margaret Scully (Dana's mother) signed in her throat. "Your a beautiful blushing pride."

Scully flushes and looks at herself in the mirror. Her white satan dress was ground length, adored with venereal layers of lacy chiffon. The bow in the back was defecated with only the supple hint of tiny beating, capturing the light in magical points. Her shinny copper hare had a faint spray of litter, like a ferry, and on top of it was a gorgeous vale of vale materiel and satan flowers.

"My sister looks just like an angle."

"Bill!" Scully screamed in the light. "I didn't think you can make it all the way from Iran where you were imbedded with Sodom Husane and the Turds and Kurks."

"Yes, I hitch hiked in a Condor Jet. I would miss this for the world, little sister." Captain Bill Scully Jr. (Dana's sister) wore his dress whites military uniform. He unjust his caller and also says "But this bow tie sure is killing me." And everybody laughed, as if they were family. Cause they were.

"Say chess!" yelled Skinner to there supprise. Suddenly, the camera flash flashed and everyone accept the bride was captured in the pitcher. "Ops! I missed," so he cliched again and then it was ok.

"Assitant Director Skinner!" Scully shouted, her happiness over flowing like a glass of crystal clear water that over flows when you pore to much champagne into it. "I'm so glad you can make it just like my brother."

"I have a whole nother reason to make it," Skinner said, looking at Margaret Scully, who was holding hands. "Its going to be a doable wedding." Scully felt like her harp was going to bust out of her dress for them with happiness.

"Well, its time to ascot you down the isle," said Bill, holding out his arm for Scully to take.

"I have butterflies inside of my stomach," she laughed. "But who will ascot my mother, Skinner's bride and joy?"

"I well," said a voice at that very moment, who of which belonged to none other than Gibson Praise himself, in the flesh.

Every one lunched into a melody of ejaculations on the count of their supprise and joy at seeing Gibson Praise, who was growing by leafs and mounds into a hanson young man.

Just as the music started, who walks in but Agent John J. Doggett and Monica Reyes theirself, dressed at the nines, looking like a million books. Scully was beaning with radiants at how wonderful everyone looked in there tux. John was supprisingly hanson in his tuck. It was to much too bare.

"Agent Scully," said John with a tare in his eye. "The pink bows and pink candles and pink flowers are so beautiful just as you are, accept you ware white. This is a weeding fit for the princes. I now that Agent Mulder will be a static to be hold you." Cause secretly John use to love Scully, but not any more cause she was getting married and Monica was their. "Guess what? Monica and I are getting married today to."

At this point in time, that very minuet, Scully now tried to attempt without success to avoid and prevent herself from feinting. But AD Skinner caught her, cause at that moment he wasn't holding hands with Margaret Scully cause he wanted to leave no turn unstoned.

But Scully quickly came too. "I'm usually cool for a cucumber," she laughed nervely. "I guess this is a defining monument, a see change in my life."

"Well if you hadn't feinted," said Reyes, "you would of noticed your son William that I'm caring hear in my arms with me as I now speak."

"But how?" Scully whispered in awl as she retched for her baby.

"His adopted parents kicked the basket in a tomato of epic promotions. But fortunately he was located precisely in the calm of   
the storm, and surveyed the disaster."

"Hey little sister," Bill crumpled. "Your groom is stomping on the bit to get marred, so you better tie the not soon."

"As for as I'm concerned, great minds sing alike," signed Scully, listing to the beautiful voice of Celine Dion who was singing:

_Near, far, wherever you are  
I believe that the heart does go on_

At the end of the isle stood Mulder with his best man Alex Krychek, who nobody could see cause he was a ghost, and the Lone Gunmen, too. Cause Mulder looked like he was alone he sticked out like a sore toe. But when he saw the sequential vision that was Scully progress to the music, the smile on his face could like up a room.

The other two coupled got hicked first, with Deputy Director Alvin Kersh pronouns them Men and Wife. Then it is Mulder's and Scully turn.

Bill realized his sister from his gasp, and handed her over to Mulder. The two men had made amens at that very moment. Scully let out a breathe she had not been aware she was holding, and Mulder was also trying to remember how to breath.

"I'm so glad this crematory evolves our son," Mulder whispered into Scully's shell like ear, smelling the comforting sense of her familial strawberry shampoo and seeing there baby cooling like a dove in his mother's arms. "I love you with all my hurt."

"Do you Fox William Mulder take Dana Katherine Scully to be your awful weeded wife, to have and to hole from this day forward till deaf do you park?" asked Kersh.

"I do."

"And do you, Dana--"

"I do! I do!" examined Scully, loosing all patients. She was giddy with excrement.

"I know pronoun you Man and Wife. It is now kisstomary to cuss the bride."

The newly made Man drew close to his new Wife, Mrs. Dana Mulder, and brushed her lips with a chased kiss as light as hair. His touch was soft and genital on her bear shoulder as if he were afraid that she would brake, she looked so delicate in her vaginal white.

An extraneous hush of applause arose from the audience. Everyone was deeply touched by this touching moment, as is they were witnessing a touchstone for time immemorable. The rest is hysterectomy.

**NOMINATED**: [Humor Category 2003 Spooky Awards  
](http://2003.spookyawards.org/archive/authorC.shtml)

**Author's Note:**

> Dedicated to Rev. William Archibald Spooner and Miss Malaprop. (Hey beta readers: 200. Dare ya to count 'em!)


End file.
